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I don't think it requires physical consumption though, just absorbing their energy is enough.
If you "turn against me" because you are unable to understand such a simple concept, so what? What do I care of the wraith of the online idiot playing word police.
Geck, do you writhe on the ground every time you read "xe"? Does it cause you mental anguish? Do you spend nights avoiding sleep because you might dream of reading "xe"?
Sorry to hear that, get psychological help immediately.
"ultimately masculinity and femininity are concepts grounded in reality"
False, those are made up concepts no more "real" than words like "they" or "xe". And even if they were real "ground in reality" things (again just made up nonsense) surely you don't think it's relevant to all things all the time that we always need to establish someones 'gender'(made up concept) no matter what.
That aside, what if you don't know someones gender but must talk about them. Like you saw someone sneaking in the back of your house but didn't get a good look at them etc. but immediately want to make clear it was only one person. Or talking about someone online, most of the time you don't know which made up concept they categorize themselves as. Some people seem to use male pronouns for anyone unknown, which is extra idiotic and sexist, but I don't see people flipping out about it with stupid tirades about it like you are.
You might be right though, it would make sense for one of the elves to save Lilly because that would be narrative useful. But Lilys ability wouldn't disappear either. And sure Lily was out of mana at one point but other people took over and Lily had some time to rest and recover mana, yes xe has (take that, crazy ranter)
Your tirade is self righteous nonsensical garbage.