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in chapter 1 if you want to read it
I was just like you man shoot I want to say was just waking up every morning to just get up to go to work go home spending all my time thinking of a fantasy of going back in time to change all the things I regrated or learning things I said I would do and then hatting myself for being a loser a nobody just sitting here on my chair escaping my mind to just go back to another fantasy then wishing I will change but the key word is wishing not doing anything to achieve to earn the change just sitting on a chair looking at a screen for hours wondering how my life ended up like this there's days I have the audacity to think if I would feel better if I was not here something I have no right to think because I never really tried to live it got to a point where I could not take it and I thought I had nothing to lose so I really tried to change it wasn't easy I started with little things doing a couple workouts a week eating a little healthier I still read a lot but I'm not spending a full day staring at a computer screen just like A MC I'm getting a little stronger mentally and physically every day and I'm no MC so if I can do it anyone can and I know this should be obvious but I also learned that I don't just have discipline I had to earn it if it takes me longer than most people that's fine I just need to do one thing that will help me change for the better then sooner or later I will be doing more and more now I can look in a mirror not disgusted at what I see but I'm not done I will spend the rest of my life trying to be better I know you are not asking for consolation instead I will just tell you a story of someone that was in a similar situation also typing this was me just telling too