The Khan didn't get away with it as much as used these tactics in moderation. That said it's important to note as you said, these autocratic means of suppression never end well. They are always short term methods and many intelligent warlords have written on the subject.
I wouldn't call that "just shouting at her like an idiot", from what I see it looks like he want's her to tell how things really were, not just how most ppl will think what happened :V Also, he want's to hear it from HER, he want's her to depend more on him.
Oh, so their birth wasn't his fault in anyway. Kinda sad actually, he's taking responsibility for them despite them not actually being a product of his actions. Definately best dad.
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